I fantasize that
You secretly had my child
And didnt tell me

All i can see is a tiny profile picture in my sent messages. Otherwise empty, that fixture is an ever changing portrait of what I'm missing in my life. Why can i see the sunspots in your eyes when you're inside? How am i still that something you put aside and forgot about. Die inside when i see the haircuts that you tried.

I have no inspiration, nor stimulation so i only write what i know too well. About my new life, theres nothing to tell. I still think about your little sisters calling you Elle. And how you were Gabby to all of our friends. Maybe if i followed their trends we could make amends. But to me you will always be Gabrielle until every ends.

You no longer hear the music when the lights go out. You say "wont you please forgive me". Now i no longer hear the music. I listen to our favourite songs as i try to fall asleep in the dark room-no one knows i weep for us forever and always but i no longer hear the music. I just cry with it in the backround because You no longer hear the music when you're with me. "Wont you please forgive me"

My instinct was to make you my own. When i had you entire to myself my instinct was to run away as far as i could, but never stop loving you. I was afraid of commitment, of boring you, of letting us down. Once i got a safe distance, roughly 1772 kilometers--1100 miles, i fell apart and i fell back in love with you. I sat in silence because i broke your heart. I punished myself because i let it fall apart. I waited for you to call, to write, to miss me. I'm still waiting.

He remembers how she used to say "I'm dying" so he would pick her up. He'd come running and twist his ankle on the stairs on the way up. When he got there she asked her room mate if she thought that he was cute. They walked back to his apartment and sleep together for the first few times.

I used to think that love was an ideal never to be achieved. You taught me love is an action. On my own i realized that to love means to miss with all your essence.