As i sit here completely alone i am entirely transparent. I am a greenhouse filled with ghosts. I am unhappy and obviously in anger. I am myself malcontent and hold myself in contempt for the things i should have said and never did. I will let you go if you ask me to. My love is steady, baby, thats what i feel now. Lets call this exactly what it is; i want you back at any cost. I am opaque in my desires, often not entirely clear, i say things but always mean, i love you and i want you back underneath it all. You can be beams of light piercing my body and warming the air. Honestly i can't remember my teenage feelings but they seemed to be true. The who's are always there but the why's were unclear. But the complicated beginning and end to this never left me. I'm sorry it took me so long to come around. And what a big mistake it was to block you, the self doubt still keeps me awake. It keeps me close like a promise kept. I talk in my sleep. I'm sorry it took me so long.