I have no other memories from that first year that don't involve or include you. I need to let you let me let go. I know you'll call me when you get sad and lonely. You only do because you know I'm always sad and lonely. Sad and lonely. If i wasnt so sad and lonely maybe you wouldn't call or think of me when you get sad and lonely at all. Then i wouldn't hear from you and get my hopes up. I could move on. Then maybe about other things in my life i could feel confident again. I could get my hope up and my chin up instead of getting doped up to forget it in my parents basement with a rope up around the lights.